Dude we live in a really screwed up world where we hold dear things that shouldn't even matter and the things we throw
away are what we need the most. You know what I want most in life? For you to think I'm cool, and I'm not even being
sarcastic rigt now...for real. I jut want to be that girl that everyone looks at when she walks down the street, not becuase
her skirt is tucked into her undies but because she's just so...you know... and everyone has to stop and look. I want to be
the grl that people look at and say, God I wish I could be more like her. It's rather pathetic I know and for all I know I coul
be that girl and all my insecurities are just blinding me fromthat fact...but I doubt it. There was this one girl (if you're reding
this you know who you are, I'm sure) that I thought was the coolest girl all through high school and to this day I wish I
could be more like her in certain aspects. I know she didn't know that I looked up to her in high school because I didn't really
interact with her that much. Have you ever felt so inferior to a friend that you were constantly afraid that they hated you and
were't good enough for them? That's what I felt like around her, like I wasn't an independent enough person with enough
ideas and talent (I know this sounds retarded now, but it kept me separated from everyone at the time). And it wasn't because
she's was beautiful or had the hottest bod but she just commanded respect and I just thought she was the epitome of
everything I wanted to be but I guess was too afraid. I wanted to be friends with the hot guy, I wanted to be able to hang
with the preps and the punks and the g's and the smart kids, I wanted to always know the perfect thing to say. I could have
had that you know? I was just too insecure at the time and now that I'm out of high school it's hard to become that because
university is just so different. It's hard to start somewhere that holds 20 thousand people that don't care who you are.
Being her friend helped me see that it doesn't fucken matter if all the guys think you're sexy or if you're invited to all the parties
because that's not what makes you a person. She made me realize that if you believe in yourself other people will too.
I will always remember that girl even if we have drifted apart since we graduated and everything she is will always be in me.