Everything and Nothing

Have you ever felt so completely alone standing in a room full of people? Have you ever just wanted to disappear because you know that no one even realizes you are there anyway? Trying desperately to gain someone's attention you know that you will always be unheard. No matter how much you scream, or cry, or anything, everyone just walks by as if you're not even good enough to be there. And pretty soon you feel like you don't deserve to be there, even though you cannot figure out what separates you so much from everyone else in the room. What makes you so different? What makes you so undesireable? You could stand there for hours trying to understand and never be any closer to an answer than when you started. Stumbling into a corner you want to hide from everything that makes you feel as though you are nothing. The tears begin to fall. Self baptism in salty salvation that only you can initiate upon yourself. Suddenly it all become clear, everyone is not alienating you, you are alienating them. They stand away because you want them to. You are isolated because you are afraid to let anyone in your glass box of lonliness. You cannot live in a glass box. Eventually it will break and everything you have been trying to hide from will be pushed in front of your face. Being alone is not a way to live, it makes you want to die.