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It's so hot in here. It's difficult for me to even think. It's difficult for me to even attempt to collect scattered thoughts in my head and piece them together in order to make a half-way coherent piece of writing. I always manage to do it though. Sometimes I wonder why I take the time to write this zine that is so incredibly important to me, but that no one reads anyway. This is my heart, this is my soul, this is me, cut up and smeared across a computer screen, across 11 pieces of paper for you to judge, pick apart, critisize, love hate. Do you understand how vulnerable I am, to a bunch of complete strangers. NO you don't know me, no I don't know you, but I am inviting you into my life. I am sharing my fears, my dreams, my stories with you. No you don't have to care, because I can care enough for both of us. I wish (empty promise) that I could know all of you out there. I wish that all of you could be part of my life and part of me. I, however, and stuck in front of this computer screen hoping that maybe, since I can't know you, you can know me. Look inside my head, gaze into my mind, see within my thoughts...ease the pain inside. That's all we really want, to have an impact on other people's lives. I want to be able to say "yeah, these people, they read my writing, and they respect it. And they come back every so often to see if there's more writing because they truly appreciate it." All I want is to know that all of this is not done completely in vain. I know I will not be able to touch you all in that certain special way (Eew gross! She wants to touch me!) but it's cool to think that maybe, just maybe you are laughing when it's supposed to be funny, and crying when it's supposed to be sad, and thinking when it's supposed to provoke thought. Yes this is me, and yes I am vulnerable, so don't take advantage of it.